By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Eve Ensler, the celebrated U.S. playwright, author of the famed The Vagina Monologues and founder of V-Day, an international movement to stop violence against women and girls, has a new book titled The Apology.

She wrote The Apology from the perspective of her father who abused her physically and sexually throughout her childhood. He never apologized for his actions before his death. She says she wrote the book because she needed to hear him apologize.

She recognizes that this apology was important to her, although it may not be as important to other survivors of abuse.  In an interview with The Huffington Post, she says:

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

The political and social turmoil of our times can leave many of us feeling distressed, hopeless or weary – or all of the above.  Yet I suspect most of us yearn to find a path  to address these painful places  and arrive at a greater heart-satisfying understanding feels more complete, more true.

As my activist and teacher friend Alison Fornes says:  When it comes to understanding complex systems – especially those that stir strong feelings and a lack of control – our best analysis is not enough. This is because analysis breaks things down into smaller parts with the expectation that it will help us understand the whole. It often results in incomplete models, along with incomplete solutions that don’t fully address the problem.

In this workshop, we employed our bodies to experience the relationships between the parts of a system that contribute to social injustice in our community, nation or the world.

With mindful intention, we came together to discover which parts of the system attract and support  each other, which parts repel and want to distance, what is out of place and which parts are missing. With the use of the illuminating approach of Systemic Constellations, an experiential process which helps us set aside blame and bring insight and change to our hearts and minds, we did indeed discover a fresh way of experiencing the depth of what has seemed like an intractable problem. 

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Psychotherapy is often mis-named as "venting." The cynics among us label psychotherapy as "paying" for friendship.  Indeed, many people do use the psychotherapy room to vent, perhaps while secretly holding the wish that the all-knowing therapist will heal them just by being there.

Truth be told, psychotherapy is a complicated process that supports growth and change on multiple levels, including with mentally, mentally, spiritually and energetically. Different professionals have been trained in various approaches, and every professional practices a little bit differently.

What is alike, however, is that the psychotherapeutic process takes investment on the part of the person seeking healing and change.

I like this article that I found on the internet that tells how to make psychotherapy more effective.

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Now, let’s talk about self care.
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Oh, yes, you say. Doesn’t that mean scented bubble baths? And a nice vacation at a nice hotel?

Bubble baths can be relaxing, and practically everyone enjoys a vacation at a nice hotel. However, although advertisers might try to convince us that self care is based on a product that we consume – fancy hand lotions, new clothes, imported luxuries – self care is how we demonstrate to ourselves that we are our own best friend. Self care means that we love ourselves and care for ourselves as one who is precious and lovable.

Think of it this way: if someone gifted you with a valuable and rare pearl, would you toss it into some dusty corner of your house? Likely not -- you'd gently place it in a soft jewel box and care for it as the treasure it is.

After years of working with people as a psychotherapist, life coach and teacher, I’ve made a list of six categories of self-care habits that support a well-functioning life.

The more habits of self care that we can identify and practice helps in reducing stress and increasing our resilience and ability to be present to survive stressful times. Even better, self care habits help us actually avoid much of life’s stressors if we make these actions a priority.

Take a look and notice what you already do – and what you might add to your self-care routine to bring more health, calm and satisfaction into your life.

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Spring is the time of the real new year. In the mainstream world, we label the new year as Jan. 1, but that “new year” is really a just a matter of turning the calendar page.

In the season of spring, however, we actually experience the new year in our bodies. It is feast for all of our senses.  The weather lightens. The dawn arrives earlier, and the days grow longer. New green sprouts push their way through the soil, claiming their place in our lawns, gardens and forests. Soft buds begin to make their presence known, ready to unfurl into a new season. We feel the warming breeze, and our eyes adjust to the deeper greening of the land.

In this season, we can feel new energies rising within us, much like the sap that is rising in our sister and brother trees. The indigenous people, as well as people in other lands, find ways to celebrate and welcome this new cycle and new life.  So do we -- watching for the first rust-chested robin, the arrival of the white snowdrops and the multi-color crocus.

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Welcome to my new practice space!

Experiential psychotherapy and coaching  are different than your typical talk therapy and brainstorming coaching with markers and easels. We practitioners who use action methods and experiential psychotherapies use floor space, props, pillows and other "supplies" in our work with people and groups.

The props -- which may include chairs, stools,  mats, scarves and cloths, small figures, simple musical and sound instruments, and other items -- assist in stepping directly into  the problem or situation rather than just talking about it. People invariably find that the experiential approach helps them develop fresh insights and feel dramatic and useful shifts that never come with analysis, list making and the usual ways we tend to think about things. In other words, stepping into our experience has transformative power.

 (By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Stephan Hausner is the author of an amazing book Even If It Costs Me My Life: Systemic Constellations and Serious Illness.

As a master facilitator and teacher of Family and Systemic Constellations, Hausner has become internationally renowned for specializing in illness and health, particularly working with illnesses that seem resistant to conventional medical treatment.

I haven’t yet had the chance to study with Stephan, although I have read his book (twice!) and include it on my reading list for my trainees. And now I’m in the middle of watching a wonderful-wow five-part documentary produced by Ali Mezey about his profound work.

In the documentary series, Stephan shows how transgenerational trauma influences illness and how hidden loyalties and entanglements to the ancestral system hinder physical healing. It is designed for people who want greater insight about their own illness or the illnesses of people in their lives. It is also an excellent resource for professionals of all kinds who want to work more effectively with people who are ill.

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP
 
Words have power.
 
(So be careful about what you think about your spouse, your friends, your enemies, yourself and everyone else.) In other words, notice what you're thinking.
 
Masaru Emoto, the late Japanese scientist, demonstrated the power of words with his experiments years ago when he pasted labels of "love" and "gratitude" on some jars of water and "hate" and "blasphemy" on others.
 
He chilled the water, then took pictures of the freezing water crystals with a high-powered microscope. The water with the uplifting words made beautiful snowflake-like crystals; the others with the words like "hate" were blotchy, discolored and malformed.
 
I've been fascinated by these reports for years and recently was inspired to start my personal experiment with a take-out box of leftover white rice from a local Chinese restaurant. The experiment seems especially pertinent now, as we struggle as people and as a country with these feelings in our personal lives and in the larger collective.

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Here we are, looking at the end of 2017. It has been a tumultuous year for many people -- personally, politically and socially. Depending on where we live and who we are, the happenings of 2017 may still be stirring within our minds, bodies, hearts and spirits.

However, there is still time to make a good end to 2017:
 
Remember all of the painful and difficult experiences that took place this year. There may have been shock, distress and feelings of disbelief. Or perhaps there was great chaos, and feelings of deep disappointment, worry or fear. Write these feelings and experiences in your journal (or on a piece of paper if you don't keep a journal) and say one by one, “I acknowledge and agree that this happened.”

If you wish, light a candle to recognize and acknowledge all of these events.