What Memorial Day is all about: death, mourning and loss

By Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP

Every year, I notice that people confuse Memorial Day with Veterans Day. This confusion extends not only to the general public, but also to newspaper and media reporters — and even some politicians, who tend to talk a lot about veterans on Memorial Day.

I'm noticing this confusion as I open this morning's newspaper and see a multitude of advertisements thanking veterans for their service.

Although it is always good to thank veterans for their service to their country -- and I say that as the wife of a Vietnam veteran and a daughter of a father who served honorably in the U.S. Navy -- that is not what Memorial Day is about.

Memorial Day is a day for remembering military personnel who died in the service of their country, particularly those who died in battle or as a result of wounds sustained in battle. Veterans Day is set aside to thank and honor all who served honorably in the military — in war or peace.

Truly, Memorial Day is a day of mourning and remembering, a solemn day, and I suspect this is why we have such trouble with the two. It is painful to mourn and remember those we have lost to the gruesome tragedy of war, and most of us would rather not "look" at war for this reason. So war continues. On future Memorial Days, I hope we will take a moment to remember all warriors who died in all wars.

And better yet, may we work for peace to honor their lives and our loss.